38/120

38/120 sounds like a very bad blood pressure reading. Well that is not what it is. It is the easiest way I could balance my life. According to Hindu Astrology, the horroscope is prepared for 120 years. That was possibly the maximum life expectancy at the ancient times. Therefore the 60 and 80 birthday celebrations, Shasthiabtha poorthi etc. symbolifying comletion of the half way mark and the 2/3rd mark. By that record with my insignificant knowledge of Hinduism or Astrology, I accepted the base of 120. I then set out to find out what I have achieved. In many of my achievements there were scars of failures. In some failures, there seemed to be sucessess. Then arose the concept of private and public failure and achievements. Monetary and spiritual. It was so easy to convery every failure into a sucess and a sucess into a failure. The failure in marriage was a success in the two children. The success in career was a failure in monetary terms. The educational qualifications lacked public achievements. Reading of books a great private achievement, but compared to what many are reading the list seems old and insignificant. I too read the Alchemist, but not the White Tiger. Oh I have many hobbies and interets. Well what do I know about them, how deep and how wide?
Well mid life or otherwise, the balancing was getting to be very difficult. I could not scope myself. The best seemed to be something that is a fact and cannot be disputed. Ah ha, like 120 the years that I have lived on earth in this life with this mortal body. 38 it shall be. My achievements and my pursuits. My toil, sweat and blood, my agony and ecstasy, my epitome of achievement, my undisputed Oscar.
I managed to put a score card. 38/120.
I still need to know what I need to do in the balance 82 years to become 1.
How do I prepare my scorecard for the future. What is it that I need to do, what should I improve, what should I add and delete?
Please help

Wheezing and Coughing

As I wait outside the clinic of the new doctor that some one referred me to this year, I am thinking of where I can buy "pana kalkandu". Pana kalkandu is palm sugar. If eaten or rather chewed, it is supposed to arrest the cough or atlest soothe the throat. This was recommended to my mother by her sister in law's cousin. By this time most people who know people who know me, know about my cough and wheezing. Most of them are not as update as my secretary at work, as I inform her whenever I am out of office and unable to take calls. Some people know about my problems of last two years and others who like history and trivia remember it from the many years that I am trying to forget. But most people try and help. As they have had coughing or wheezing problems in the last year or so or know someone who has. Many also claim to know of cures, of docs and magic to get me rid of my suffering.
My colleague S recommened tulsi and honey in warm water, after a rather musical client meeting that I went with him. We were trying to hard sell Enterprise Risk Management to this CEO of a back office IT company. The CEO was a bit lost, but got many break from our sales talk, as I coughed or waited to catch up my breath. S tried to fill in, but his flow and accent complemented my cough. So the client was not sure whom to focus on. After some 30 minutes of meeting and 10 minutes of coughing, we left. Of course there we no handshales for me. My embarassed collegue advised me this magic portion. This I tried for the secon time in my life. Last was three years ago in Delhi under my mothers supervision. This time it was in Bangalore under my wife's supervision. Except for the differnet voices giving me the instructions, nothing else was different.
"Hey I know of a doc at Mylapore"
"Go to the Anjaneyar Temple at Banaswadi"
"Drink ginger powder with ...."
"Have you tried brnady with hot water"
"Eucalyptus oil does it"
"Warm fenny with cinnamon and cloves is what my grandfather used to have every day till he died"
"Gargle?"
Of course docs said:
Rx.......Anti allergnets of all shapes and sizes, bottles of syrups, inhalers, and nose drops, vaporisers, steam inhalation with and without additives, antibiotics of all names, shapes and prices.
Met GPs, Pulmologists, Paediatricians, Homeopaths, Aryvedics, Siddha etc....Young, old, experinced and convincing.
After years of different docs, attempted treatments and poorer and low in energy, I am here at Manipal Hospital to meet the pulologist suggested by my daughters paediac.
As in case of Manipal, I wait ofr over an hour. Many people look like me tired of coughing or wheezing or both. With and without kerchieves depending on etiquette or years of agony. The music of the different decibles of coughing was saddisticaly soothing. A bit scarry when and oldie would cough like TB or yeek.
Some of these coughers resembled my wheeze or cough......i could see my future looks and state in them. Uncombed hair, tube from nose or mouth, not sure, faded hospital clothes, in wheel chairs or escorted, shrinking and looking away and holding the chest and throat in alternate when coughing. I was tempted to ask them...did this doc help? What medicines? How long? I was scared, if I did not get the positive answers, this doc was my last hope. The last two docs were also my last hope till I was convinces by a well wisher to see another one.
Will I become like these lack of energy tired of the cough and the resultant body pain, disorientation and social and conversational outcaste. I love to talk and carry on conversations. But no one wants to listen or talk to a person who speaks and coughs at the same time and breaks only to wheeze. No more invites for client meetings or lunch with collegues. I was becoming a Outcaste Brahmin.
As I wait to see this docs, my years of efforts and results, some sucessfull, many failures and my investments of energy, time and money suddenly come to me together. As a Chartered Accountant, I promptly prepare a profit and loss account and a balance sheet. It shows a loss and the going concern is questionble.
I get a call from home to check when I will be back? I can hear N & N shouting in the back as my wife is enquiring. They want to go swimming in the evening.
Energy is sipping back into me. I want to get better. I want to be able to swim. Just then my nmae is called, and I go into the pulmologists office.